It is not news that every January 1st we make promises to ourselves. We like establishing goals, it helps to give motivation and reason to keep on going, to thrive, to be our better selves. But what happens when we fail, when we can’t meet our own desires? It is frustrating, it beat us up. In this new year, I want you to reinvent what success means to you, so you are successful in the end. 

One of the many goals for couples and families is to welcome a new member. However, getting pregnant may not be as easy as it seems, and the stress to accomplish it can work in the very opposite direction we desire. So how to make sure we are working towards our goals in an effective manner? This is what I am hoping to answer in this article. 

How diet impacts your fertility?

We had explored in Nutrition and the female body the importance of diet to help balance hormones and promote fertility. So we know that a diet rich in healthy fats will promote hormone production and that the fiber content of what you eat will help our bodies flush out any excess that could be causing hormonal imbalances. So if you are trying to conceive steer away from processed foods, greasy and fatty foods such as frozen meals, and fast foods. Add fresh vegetables and home-cooked meals to your daily menus and you will naturally see positive changes to your body - inside and out. 

Fad diets: how to identify them? 

Another issue many of us face is to identify fads diets. Every New Year’ the media bombards us with magical solutions to all of our troubles, and it is not different when it comes to diet. We are prompted with “10 ways to lose weight”, “The 50 best ingredients to increase your libido” and “how to get the bikini body before summer”. All of it seems appealing, however, most of these diets are not formulated to lead you to success. They are not made considering your reality, your body type, and limitations. They promise short term results, that are either unachievable or hard to maintain. The results are frustration and failure in most cases. 

If you are serious about making changes to your diet to increase your chances to become a parent between 2021 and 2022, ignore the buzz of social media and magazines, look for professional help. The internet is full of food and health gurus, they create a lot of content that is interesting and some are helpful, but they are not experts in the field, nor have the professional qualifications and accreditations - think of this, if you needed surgery you would not trust it to an internet celebrity, but to an actual surgeon. Trust your nutrition and diet to an actual Dietician or Nutritionist. 

Diet is not all

We tend to focus so much on our physical bodies, that we often forget about our minds. Staying healthy goes beyond how we physically feel. How our minds cope with day-to-day challenges is equally important. A healthy mind can make us stronger and more resilient to difficulties. It will accept and cope with stress and feelings of doubt when we struggle to achieve our goals. A healthy mind will make our bodies healthy, while a sick mind can make us sicker. When we are under stress we release more stress hormone (cortisol) into our system. If constantly pumped into our system it can cause imbalances and actually tell our bodies that this is not the time for conception, shutting off our reproductive system. With our hormones out of wack, it will become harder to get pregnant regardless of how hard you try. The stress of trying and failing releases even more cortisol, which creates an even more hostile environment for pregnancy, therefore creating more stress - you know where I am going. 

In that scenario eating healthy is not the only solution. If your mind isn’t taken care of, it can ruin your plans of becoming a parent altogether. So it is important for us to stay happy - and this can be hard, very hard. 

Some of the things I tried when I was trying to become pregnant was: 

Practicing sports. Find an activity that you enjoy/ This will help take your mind out of the issue and will relax your body, releasing more dopamine into your system, which will balance out the amount of stress you feel. It will keep your body strong and prepared for the challenges of pregnancy and child-birth. Staying healthy will signal your body that this can be a great time to become pregnant. 

Journaling. Have a notebook and a pen by your side of the bed and take time to write down things that went well on that day. Things that you are grateful for. Even as little as three items is enough. This will help to switch the focus and will tell your mind that does not matter what, you still had a great day, full of joyful moments. Yes, not everything was perfect, but you still managed to have a great day.

Have physical contact with another human. It is hard now (as I write this we are in the middle of a global pandemic), but make an effort to touch people around you. A longer hug can go a log way. If we feel like the only time we are allowed physical contact is when we are having sex with our partner, and sex equals trying to get pregnant, then we are putting extra stress on ourselves, our partners, and the relationship as a whole. 

Change the focus a bit. If you notice that every time you are with your partner, your thoughts are on how to get pregnant, it may be time to step back a bit and take a break. Plan other activities together that do not involve having sex. Change conversation topics, steering away from the baby subject. After trying for a while, it all may start to seem mechanical and the loss of romance can work against you. Also, being more relaxed will help you have more orgasms, and orgasms are important to help that silly little sperms find your egg. A healthy, loving nest is important even before your baby is conceived. 

Have small goals

When starting a new project it is normal for us to get super excited. We want change to take place now, so we start setting goals that are far more challenging than what we can possibly handle. This is one of the causes of stress and failure. It is better to set small, but attainable goals, that will lead you to your final big goal.

It is like preparing for a marathon. If you were not a runner before, it is easier to focus on finishing a 5K and then progress to 10K, 21K, and finally 42k runs. Chances are that you will feel frustrated and beaten up if your first goal is to finish a 42K run, which seems way too hard to reach than the 5K. So start small and slowly progress as your body adjusts to the changes. 

When changing your diet, don’t force yourself to have a completely new menu for every single day of the week. Try applying the changes to one or two days and progress as you feel comfortable. Before you see it, you will have made changes to every day of the week. For example, if cutting sugar is your goal, try having one sugar-free day in the week, then progress to two, and so on. Slow progression leaves more durable results, and the chances of falling back to older habits are smaller. The stress caused by trying something small is lower too, and the rewards are greater as your chances to succeed are increased. Small victories will make you want to continue and progress, bringing you closer and closer to your main goal! 

Summary

I love New Year’s resolutions, and I encourage you to set up some for yourself. If that is having a baby or getting pregnant, this is awesome! I am here to help work toward that goal. Here is what we covered: 

• Your diet will impact your fertility, so start making healthier choices to help your body stay balanced and increase your chances of getting pregnant. 

• Stay away from fad diets and advice from internet gurus. Seek help from professional and registered Dieticians and Nutritionists

• Diet is not all. Stay physically healthy is important, but so is taking care of your mental health. Find things that give you pleasure and bring your happiness to keep your mind at ease. 

• Change the focus a bit. If you find that the baby talk is around too much, change topics a bit so that it is not too much of a weight on your relationship

• Set small attainable goals. These are easier to achieve and the rewards of the small victories will keep you motivated to keep on progressing towards your big goal. 

• Finally, enjoy the journey!

Are you ready to set up your goals? Come chat with me :)